Day Two of Being 'Back' Memories and What I Ate Today and I Lost 4 Pounds!

My very very first post:

Wednesday, May 27, 2009 
Exciting, yes? Everyone says this is what you are supposed to do, journal while you lose weight, so I am succumbing to peer pressure and adding my own ramblings to the plethora of weightloss blogs out in the cosmos.
Tonight I walked with my buddy down the street. Had to pause 3 times to catch our breath! So glad she is willing to go with me, I'd hate to have to go alone.
I really have no way to judge how many calories I am eating right now. I guess I'll have to figure that out soon, right? So far I am attempting to eat when I am truly hungry and limit my portions. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. There are just days when nothing satisfies, you know?
I know this: I never ever want to go back to the depression and discouragement that was my life before now. I had just basically given up. I know I needed to lose weight; I'm 47, and it is only going to get worse, but the sense of failure was so strong. I have tried off and on through the years but when I would mess up ONE TIME well, that was it, I was a failure, I knew I could never lose weight, and it was all over.
So my first two big goals are thus: to walk everyday, and to not give up. NEVER GIVE UP NEVER SURRENDER!
No matter what.
Oh, and officially this is day 10.


Kind of weird reading that. It was 2 years ago that things changed for me, never to go back to 'normal'. I have never given up. Never stopped trying. How glad I am to be 'back', putting weight loss front and center in my life. It kind of got shoved out of the way to make room for other things.


I am definitely not the same person I was then. Boy I know what I'm doing now. I count those calories, actually WRITE THEM DOWN. That does make a difference. 


Someone else's first post. Yeah, it's one of those pensive days. Looking back and remembering how incredible it was that I found that blog early in my journey. I googled 'top weight loss blogs' and many of the ones I found were dead. Out of curiosity I checked the men's blogs in the list and there it was. Sean's blog. That was where I got my 1500 calories a day and walking from. When I found him, he had lost 170 pounds. I went back and over the course of 3 days I read every. single. post. starting from Day 1. Crying. Blubbering at the computer because I could relate to everything. I didn't start at 505, I started at 356, but it was still so familiar to me, everything. 


Of course he has done wonderfully, hit goal of 235, wrote a book. I got lost dealing with sickness, life, and loss of vision. But my main goal has been to never give up. Never surrender. And I haven't. So thanks, Sean, for putting yourself out there for people like me. So many bloggers disappoint because they fail, they justify, they don't fulfill OUR dreams of losing weight, letting us down. You show us that you CAN have a bump in the road and you CAN figure out why and you CAN learn something from it and then you CAN go on. Okay I'm done with the gushing.


I made two things today that I had to use math skills to figure out how much a serving was. Chipped beef on toast, and rice krispy scotcheroos. Okay, after laborious thinking and using the calculator on my computer here is the results:


Chipped beef on toast--1/2 c on white bread 250 calories. 
Scotcherooes: 1 serving 425 calories. FOUR HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE CALORIES for 1/24 of a 13x9 pan. Yeah, I'm freaking out too. 


Okay here's my food eaten for the day:


1 serving cereal 120 cal
1/2 c milk 50 cal
1/2 c juice 50 cal
2 tostados 300 cal
1 sq ghiradelli 73 cal
2 servings chipped beef on toast 500 cal
1/2 serving scotcheroo 215


Incredible that it was dinner and the rice krispy thing that pushed me close to my 1500 limit. Looks like I'm skipping the popcorn tonight. I don't care.


Hubby is taking the kids to a rinky dink haunted house in a little town south of us. The kids are SO EXCITED. I am staying home. There's a slide at the end! I am not feeling the slide. Sure, I can go down. But will I go all the way down, or will I get stuck? And how am I getting up at the end? No way anyone's going to be able to haul me to my feet. How embarrassing to have to turn to all 4's to get up like I normally do, but doing it in front of other folks? No way. 


So I'll be staying home, finishing up some laundry, doing the dishes, and messing around on the computer. 


OH the big news I can't believe I didn't put it first! Ran into the clinic and had them check my blood pressure---130/80! AND I lost 4 pounds! Incredible! Unbelievable! Why am I always surprised that what I am doing is working? I guess because I'm not eating 'healthy' foods like everyone else does. I'm kind of jealous that they like that stuff. I don't. Every time I have tried to lose weight eating 'good for you' stuff I lasted about 1/2 an hour. I am having a surprising amount of success just eating what I always do, just less. And just walking! Man I wish I had a gym nearby. Well I don't have the money to join one so I guess it doesn't really matter. But just walking? How can that work? I don't know it just does. Weird.


Making wise choices a way of life, 
Laura