Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Day 366--A Most Righteous Anniversary Post--I Want to Tell You About Me

Once, a long time ago, there was a little girl. She lived and laughed and played. She was slender and blond, loved to read and play the piano, and was picky about what she ate. Very picky. And then when she was 14 years old, her body started changing. Her hips and thighs became curvier. She found, to her horror, that there was a name for her new legs: thunder thighs. She weighed 120 pounds.
Exercising and dieting were just starting to be popular in the 70s, but she never thought seriously about doing stuff like that. Everything could be concealed quite nicely. As she grew older, she helplessly watched as she got fatter and fatter and fatter. A few times, some weight was lost, giving her a semblance of control. But discouragement always brought all the weight back. Plus some.
When she got married, she weighed 140 pounds and her husband thought she was fat.
After her first baby, she weighed 150 pounds.
She hit 200 with her third baby and never looked back.
By the time she had her 8th (and final) baby, she weighed 300 pounds.
As the years went by, discouragement and despair settled in and became old friends.
She would never be able to lose all that weight, it was too much, would take too much time, was impossible! She hated most vegetables and fruits, and all the other 'good for you' foods that nutritionists declared must be eaten for weight loss to occur.
Always on the look out for the magic 'secret' that people had.
Hoping that scientists would finally come out with that magic pill that would change her life.
She weighed 356 pounds.
She finally accepted that she would never lose weight. She was doomed to being fat for her whole life. She would get bigger and bigger as time went on, and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. Did they even make a casket her size? The biggest size clothes at WalMart didn't fit her anymore. All of her clothes were stretched and stained. She was tired and depressed. She hated everybody and everything.
She prayed daily that God would change her, help her lose weight.
She hated the movie Gilbert Grape with all her heart.
And then the most wonderful thing in the entire world happened.
She decided she would do it. She would lose weight. She didn't know how, but she knew she would. She began walking that very day. She learned to count her calories and measure her food.
But the best part of all, was she found she could eat what she already was eating!
No pills!
No surgery!
No weirdo diet!
No extremely painful exercise that would hurt her knees and make her breasts jounce dangerously up and down and pert near rip off!
And thus began her journey, exactly one year ago today.
My name is Laura Ward, and this is my story.

This is a difference of two years here.

~*'Where I'm Going From Here'*~

I have 110 pounds to lose to hit my goal of 150 pounds. I plan on increasing my physical activity, hopefully running in a marathon as every good little weight loss person does. I am definitely going to an amusement park in June with my family. The date is already set! The public pool will be visited frequently by me and my children this summer. And I will be wearing a bathing suit and swimming and having a blast! I will keep riding my beautiful bike (thanks Jack). I will sit where I want, play frisbee and volleyball, and run through groves of pine trees. I will eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm not. I am also toying with going to college in the fall.

****My Mentor***

If you've read this blog very much at all, you will see that I refer to one specific person more than anyone else. Yes, my friend Sean. I consider him my mentor. I found his blog on Day 10 of my journey and found out what a delight losing weight can be! It's not hard, or painful, or frustrating. And I feel this way because Sean was living the right and best way to lose weight. Thank you, Sean, from the bottom of my heart, for all your encouraging words to me.
This is for you:
Yes, Sean is the recipient of the soon to be coveted award that I will be giving out. I am quite new at making things like that and if it shrinks anymore you won't be able to see my blog address!

*~*~*My Appreciation for Authors Who Don't Even Know I Read Their Book*~*~*
Much love and gratitude to the following:
The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl
The Big Skinny
These books helped shape my attitude toward food, weight loss, and life in general.

I had toyed with doing this HUGE post showing the differences between my life before and after but I realized something. I am tired of remembering how horrid my life was. I have everything recorded in my blog so if you really want to know about it, just read it. All my little firsts have come and gone and now I'm living my dream. My marriage has completely changed for the better and I am so happy. I feel vibrant, and filled with joy. I look forward to each day, with no fear, embracing all that comes my way. For this is living, my friends. I am not a slave to food. I am not a slave to my body.
And how much fun it is to be thinner! How wonderful to actually have men talk to me in the checkout line! I am excited to look at clothes and try them on and then buy them and take them home! And I look great! I love shoes and can wear high heels again! And the sex is so different than when I was so huge! I can say that because I'm married so hush.

So now I'm off to celebrate this anniversary with my husband. Yes we're going out to eat and I'm thrilled that it's just not a big deal to reward myself in this way. I always have to cook and don't go out ever.

I'm done with this post. I'm off to live my life now. And I will try really hard to post more frequently!
Much love and hugs to you all and remember----


Saturday, May 15, 2010

Day 352--It's been a month since I've posted?! It's a good thing I have pictures.

No words to say on why I have been MIA. When I was bigger, my world was so small and was easily encased in the computer. Now, my world is expanding and I seem to be gone a lot, and just plain busy doing other things when I am home. One of those weird things I didn't expect. It's so odd to think that one year ago I was so different, I could be a totally different person. In every aspect of my life, things are different.
Instead of a huge retrospective, I decided to just give you a bunch of pics. Since my one year anniversary is Wednesday, I thought the soul searching would go best then. Without further ado, here is my life in mobile uploads and facebook pics.

My littlest girl Mary broke her foot, and that has been a bit of fun. Here she is at McDonald's after she got her cast on. Looks so pitiful doesn't she? It's waterproof!

Here we have me and a ton of family. I am on the right, third from the front, hidden. I never liked family pics like this.

At my Dad's for his birthday last year. I was so proud of myself, I had lost some weight and felt so confident--until I saw the pics! I so hated when people took random photos that had me in it! I couldn't 'arrange' myself to show off my best side. Well, what I THOUGHT was my best side.

At my Grandmother's funeral last summer. I was so careful what I ate at the church dinner, and so proud of myself. Once again, I carefully hid myself in the back for the pic. My face is so huge!

At my brother's. I looked quite disgusting in a bathing suit, hence the shirt and shorts. Also, I am wearing my glasses so I can keep track of all my kids.

I wore that red sweatshirt so much. It was one of my 'good' shirts, covered my stomach nicely.

Why did I do that with my mouth! I look like I have no teeth!

Sigh. I look so OLD here.

This is one of my other 'good' sweaters. Covered all my middle section nicely.

Ahh, here we go. Probably the most hideous picture I have of me. Looks like someone else.

One of my son's wedding pictures. Didn't buy a new dress. There was NO WAY I was going to get one. I knew nothing would fit. And if I could find one big enough to fit, I still wouldn't look nice. At least I didn't have cankles! One nice thing in a world of pain.

Everyone except for Rachel. She was in South Dakota or something with the Natl. Guard.

And now for something completely different!

Me on Mother's Day, 2010

I am wearing my husband's jacket and posing with my new bike (courtesy of Jack Sh*t) Lulubelle. She is sporting her lovely basket which I made.

Bekah Boo Baby and me, Prom 2010

Mother's Day/Eli's 21st birthday combo party

For some reason I can't move this picture right above. That's me and my nephew and I'm wearing the shirt I got for donating blood. It's the first XL shirt I have worn for over 20 years.

My sister and me at a school function.

I went up this completely narrow set of stairs on a field trip I went on with Mary and her class. It's the first field trip I have ever been on. I would NEVER have even attempted these stairs when I was heavy. When I would have realised the tour guide's intention to take us up them, I would have casually moseyed to the very back of the group and then gone out to talk to the lady at the front desk about all the beautiful pieces of furniture in the front hall that are in such good condition where DID they come from? So purposeful like. Instead, I went up the stairs and did not one time worry about if they would hold me. I also came down them. Just like everyone else. You have no idea how narrow this stairscase is. I also almost knocked a picture off the wall when I was up there. Did you know everything in a museum is old? They should really bolt that stuff to the wall! I was so mortified!

Inside Frank James's cell. I would never have been able to even walk INTO the cell when I was fat. I didn't even have to turn sideways!!!

On the bus. I fit. I fit everything. I fit going down the aisle, I fit sharing a seat, I fit. We had so much fun!

I was kind of scrambling for pics so here you go, me dying my hair.

Aaaaaand last but not least, me this week. I am wearing a LARGE hoodie. A LARGE!!!!

So there you have it. Please tune in for my one year anniversary post on Wednesday, May 19th. I will be revealing my real name, and discussing my life before and after. Probably in more detail than anyone really wants to read. But that post will be for me. Every single day I am blown away by the changes, inward and outward.
Thanks for continuing to read about me and my weight loss journey. Thanks for the encouraging emails I continuously get, they mean more to me than you will ever know.
I have also actually blown through my plateau and weigh 264. I have been toying with a few pounds up and down and ugh it is so frustrating!!!!
Much hugs to you all, fellow weight loss super heroes.
Never give up, never surrender!!!!!!!