Blog now Malware Free!

Wherein I ramble on about my life, catching everyone up who cares to be caught up.


How simply horrifying to discover that my blog had become infected with malware! But it's all taken care of, so you can freely visit my site now, if you wish. The thought of giving somebody else a virus freaked me out. 


It has been a very interesting last couple of months. One morning I woke to find the vision in my left eye to be filled with 'debris'', like strings and dots and I was terrified I had worms in my eye. I almost wish I had. Found out I had a retinal tear in the left and the beginnings of one in the right. How it happened? My extreme nearsightedness and my AGE yes I said it my incredibly old AGE of 50. So I had to have emergency surgery, and I got to wear a patch, I was Pirate Mom. Then a month later I had the same thing done to the other eye. Now I still have 'debris' in my left eye which will supposedly go away in about 6 months to never. Yes, never. The right is great and I tell you what, I really appreciate my vision now. How easily it could have been taken away from me. And then I would have become dependent on everyone for the smallest of tasks.
So very thankful for the doctors who took care of everything so quickly.


I now take TWO blood pressure medicines. Yes, TWO. Around the time I had my eye stuff going on I had a physical and my blood pressure was 128/109. Yeah. But my blood work was beautiful!!! My doctor said she would kill to have numbers like I had. My blood work shows a total cholesterol of 156, with the good chol being 50 and the bad 92, my trig are 69 and blood sugars are normal. How can my blood be so wonderful yet my blood pressure so awful?! And all of my female parts are good. Ladies you know what I mean.


Took a walk today. Why it was a killer I have no idea.


My very boring menu for the day: (all foods measured/weighed)


1 serving Captain Crunch Peanut Butter cereal -- 120 calories
1/2 c milk -- 50 calories
1/2 c orange juice -- 50 calories
two tostados--300 calories
2 fun size milky way candy bars -- 160 calories
1 hotdog -- 130 calories
1 piece bread -- 70 calories
1/2 c chili --50 calories
1 1/2 servings fries --180 calories
1 square Ghiradelli chocolate -- 60 calories


Total calories: 1270 calories
But the day isn't over yet and I want popcorn, so I think I'll hit 1500 nicely.


It's been fun catching up on everyone's progress while I took my sabbatical from blogging. And some, like me, disappeared. But such is life. Things get in the way of writing, we get busy, bad stuff happens in our lives that kind of take over. 


Oh. I'm going to be a Grandma. How could I forget that! My son and his wife are due end of next month, it's a girl named Delilah Jean. We're all excited, and I hope she has red hair like her mother.


It's so easy to slide back into old habits. Not walking, not writing down calories, not journaling, eating chips from the bag mindlessly, not measuring foods anymore. But it's either change, or helplessly watch yourself get bigger and bigger. And we are not helpless. Food truly has no control over us, no matter how much we think it does. I have always known that I am my own worst enemy. Why I try to destroy myself I have no idea, but I do. I wake up in the morning and I hate myself, I hate my life, I hate how big I am, I hate food, I hate everything. I have to stop those thoughts dead in their tracks and I pray, thanking God for all He has done for me, and asking Him for help for the day. Those evil thoughts are what has destroyed me oh so many years. 


And I am not the only one. Evidently a lot of us folks have to change how we think to be successful in weight loss, well, in anything really. You all know what a fan I am of Sean, who continues to blow me away with the insights he has gained while dropping half his body weight. Even he, after all the weight he has lost, still has moments where bad habits rear their ugly heads. 


Hard to accept, but this battle will go on for a long time. 


Bring it.