Day 346--I reweighed myself, Bethany is sick. Zaababy's Quick Start Weight Loss Guide!

K so I had to take Bethany to the Dr again today. She started with a sore throat Saturday and has deteriorated quite rapidly--headache, BAD sore throat, bloodshot eyes, dizziness, fever, ugh! Of course the checked her for mono. Inside I was thinking 'no no no no no no more mono'. At the moment they are saying she has a viral infection. I just hope it doesn't get worse. Bethany is in the school play this week and is most devastated. THE LION KING BABY.

So here we are at the clinic and I bravely and boldly hopped on the scale and I have lost 3 of the 4 pounds I gained. YIPPY YAY FAR OUT WOOOOOOOT.

I dropped Bethany off at home and headed to the pharmacy for her prescriptions and grocery store to get her some juice. While I was there I ran into a friend I haven't seen for a bit (Howdy S!) and she freaked quite nicely on how different I looked. We ended up talking for a while--I love my small town--and gave her my blog address. THEN one of my daughter's friend's dad came up to me and said 'Did Bekah Boo Baby tell you what I said the other day?' and I said 'nooooo' and he said 'You are looking great' WHILE LOOKING ME UP AND DOWN. Yes. Me! I said thank you freaking inside because let me tell you, I'm sure men have looked at me in years past but it wasn't appreciatively and I tell you what, it's heady. Too bad this incredibly awesome package is already taken!!!!! It's all for my hubby.

I went on a bike ride with Eli, Bek and Mary last night and Eli laughed at me and I said WHAT and he said you have the biggest smile on your face and it's been there the whole time! Because seriously, I am doing something I have only DREAMED of--going on a bike ride with my kids just like in the Sound of Music!!!! Then Bek ruined the moment by drawing his attention to the fact that I never turn my head but use my peripheral vision to look around AND my knuckles are white on the handlebars! Pft. I showed her how I could lift a hand off the handle but of course she imitated me with a totally shaking hand. I'll show her! And yes I don't move my head because I am being safe! What if a small animal ran in front of me, or a big rock or something! I would totally crash and burn and bif it bigtime. I like being prepared. I am practicing turning though, since I am always so afraid that my weight is still so immense that when I turn I will just flat out fall onto the ground and kill myself. I do enjoy ringing my bell. And sing. You can ring my be-e-ell, ring my bell. I swear I am totally innocent I had no idea what that song was about until I just now looked up the lyrics. I also went on another bike ride with my husband at dusk. That was the best of all, I believe.

I am making several dozen cupcakes for the play practice today, and bologna sandwiches cut into fourths. Tomorrow I am making dogfood and cheese/crackers and strawberries. Then Thursday for dress rehearsal I am doing pbj sandwiches and M&M cookies. My personal favorite cookie in the entire world.

I washed ALL my clothes yesterday and had no pants so on a whim I pulled this bag of clothes out of my closet that my sister had given to me last summer. Aaaaaand the capris fit! I am wearing size 22 jean capris!!! The khaki pants didn't fit but I haven't used my tried and true method of lying on the bed to zip them up. It is just simply unbelievable that this time last year, I couldn't even fit into the LARGEST SIZE at walmart and now I am wearing an XL in my top and a size 22 in the bottom!

I can't wait to wear my new high heels to church tomorrow night!

Tonight we're having chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and gravy and yummmm it's my absolute fav meal ever. It is so freeing and unbelievably joyous to have learned that losing weight is not this horrible slog, filled with foods you find distasteful and pain and deprivation. Instead, I eat exactly what I always have---just less. So yes, that means I still taste the cake batter (I'm totally guessing here that what I eat is 200 calories please don't burst my bubble), I grab a piece of bologna if that's what I want (90 cal), or 1/2 c ice cream (150 cal), or 13 gummy worms (110 cal), or 15 g of dark cacao chocolate (80 cal), or chocolate milk (150 cal), or even a cheeseburger and fries from McDonald's (670 cal)!

~*'Another Reader Question of the Week!'*~

Dear Zaababy,
I want to do this. I want to lose weight. Everytime I try nothing happens and I get so discouraged! Please tell me how to jumpstart myself! Oh, and did I mention you are way cool and awesome?
One Sad Cowgirl

Well Cowgirl, I know exactly how you feel. That was my life for oh so many years. Here is Zaa's Quick Start Guide, just for you!

ZAA'S QUICK START GUIDE TO LOSING WEIGHT

1. Start today. Not tomorrow, not Monday. Start right now.
2. Eat every time you get hungry. Let's say you are hungry right now and you want some potato chips! Okay let's just mosey into the kitchen and measure out one serving of potato chips. If you don't have a kitchen scale stop what you are doing immediately and go get one. Saves you from having to count out 13 chips that are NOT the same size and are even broken and it's so frustrating! Okay so then you eat that one serving of chips and you're done.
   
3. You are going to have to relearn how to eat. We all eat too much. Everything you eat will be measured and counted. Some people just really like writing down what they ate and some people just really hate it. Do whatever you like, just always know how many calories you are putting in your mouth.
4. My calorie goal was 1500 because that's what Sean did. If you are unsure how much is best to shoot for, this site will help you determine that. Especially right here at first, you need to give yourself a calorie cap for the day. That helps you to spread your food throughout the day.
5. Eat exactly what you like. You do not need to copy other people's menu plans or ridiculous ones you find in magazines. Weight loss is big business, and there's lots of money in telling people how to do it. And think, you are finding out the way for free! Eat everything you always have, just less. You will be learning how much is considered a portion size and just eating that. Like miracle whip is 40 calories for 1 Tablespoon and that is the perfect amount for a sandwich. Same with 1 cup of juice/milk, one chili dog, 3 oz fries. I totally recommend you get this book. I bought it at WalMart and keep it in my purse. I am never at a loss anymore! I can always figure out how many calories something is now.
6. Learn to say no to food. It is most empowering. You will not be starving. You will be eating everything you love. So saying no to more than one serving is something you are going to have to learn. Here, let's practice saying no. ***You open your front door and you see a tattooed biker with long greasy hair with a crack pipe in one hand and an almost empty fifth of whiskey in the other, his motorcycle in the yard. He asks if you want to go on a ride out on a deserted country road. What do you say? NO.*** Good. Now let's make it a little harder. ***Your pretty blonde teenage daughter walks in with this tattooed biker with long greasy hair with a crack pipe in one hand and an almost empty fifth of whiskey in the other. She says she wants to marry him. What do you say? NO**** Makes saying no to another piece of pie no problem doesn't it?
7. I also am offering to you FREE OF CHARGE my patent pending 100% guaranteed method that pairs so well with saying no. RUN AWAY. You are in the kitchen. You eat a cookie. You know that one is enough so you now say NO and then RUN AWAY FROM THE COOKIE. There. Feel free to share that method. You may also run away like a little girl. Works for me.
   
8. Go for a walk. Everyday. I think walking is the perfect first exercise. The very best thing you could possibly do is get yourself a good pair of shoes. Everyone says that and I always thought it was stupid. But it's not. Your feet will really really really hurt if you don't. Mine did. I just could NOT understand why, especially because it was on the TOP of my foot, not the bottom. All the way up into the ankle. It was horrid. I splurged $50 and got a nice pair of Nike Air's for my 25 pound weight loss reward thingy. Wish I had done it right at the beginning but who has $50 just lying around amiright?
   
9. There are no bad foods. There are no good foods. Everything is okay to eat. I don't care what it is. Just have one serving.
10. We all have stupid diet rules. NO SUGAR NO FAT NO EATING BETWEEN MEALS NO SWEETS NO REFINED FLOUR blah blah blah. Some people are just awesome and can completely change how they eat and live and they can do it forever and I am so happy for them. But then there are the lame losers like ME who don't LIKE raw vegetables and steamed fish and all the weirdo things other people tell you is HEALTHY and GOOD FOR YOU. Let me tell you something. We eat real butter here. I use no sugar substitutes. If I serve my husband another fat free food he just might fire me. In my own little opinion which matters for nothing I think it's best to eat less of the real stuff than a whole lot of disgusting stuff that's good for me. That fake stuff just does not SATISFY. You know how good an M&M cookie made with real butter and eggs tastes when it's warm from the oven and dipped in one cup of cold milk I mean we are talking HEAVEN ON EARTH. And yes, I taste the batter too. I digress.
11. NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP I MEAN I DON'T CARE IF YOU THINK YOU 'MESSED UP' OR SOMETHING STUPID DON'T EAT HOWEVER MUCH THE HECK YOU WANT BECAUSE YOU 'MESSED UP' THERE IS NO 'MESSING UP' ANYMORE. That's right. No more messing up. No more 'I ate something I 'shouldn't' so now I'm going to eat what I want for the rest of the day because I already messed up this day.' Let's see. You can eat when you're hungry. You can eat what you want. Hmmmm. Sounds a bit like heaven to me.
    

So to sum up: Start right now. Measure and count everything. Eat exactly what you like. Eat when you're hungry. Take a walk everyday. Learn to say no. Smile at yourself in the mirror. You're really going to do this! You're really going to be thin! Oh, and get a scale tootsweet!

I think that's about it. Be good, my fellow weight loss super heroes! Never give up!
Big hugs to you all!

I have to leave you with this video. This is the group that my girls are madly in love with right now.