Day 124--4 month anniversary woooot and another list? Awesome Possum! AND it's National Talk Like a Pirate Day!!!

So now don't freak out that I actually posted two days in a row. But today is a special day. Four months ago, on May 19th, I decided again to lose weight and this time it was different. I found this amazing core of steel inside me that has kept me heading in the right direction. I pondered for ages why it was different this time and I came up with this simple reason: I get to eat what I like. There are many people out there who completely change how and what they eat and it works for them but it never has for me. I so love all the 'bad' stuff: chocolate, pizza, bacon and eggs, hot dogs, biscuits and gravy......I could go on forever. When someone says they are on a diet you immediately think of cottage cheese and carrots and fat free this and sugar free that. Well guess what. I'm not on a diet! Whenever I've 'dieted' before, it was just this temporary thing and I would comfort myself that someday I would be able to eat 'normal' and go back to how I ate before. I would struggle against temptation, wanting all kinds of 'forbidden' things, fixing my food separately from everyone else's, sneaking food so nobody would see that I was 'cheating' on my diet. Wouldn't take long before that diet was tossed, like all the ones before. Sometimes I lasted more than one day. Twice I lasted for a couple of months, but then out went the diet and in came the food and the pounds and even MORE pounds to punish me for daring to change myself. I've heard people complain my whole life about how awful it is to count calories. They hate it. Blah blah. So I never did it. I did the fat free diet. I took Metabolife. I went to Weigh Down. I joined a gym and exercised every day for 3 months but never lost one pound. I secretly bought weight loss pills at WalMart but they did diddly squat for me, my appetite never changed! I wanted something that would make me not hungry for food. I didn't realize that I wasn't hungry for FOOD. I'm hugging myself today because my life is so different than it was 4 months ago.

~~~~~~~~How My Life Is Different~~~~~~~~~

• First off, I am 51 pounds lighter.
  
• Going up and down the stairs is so much easier
• Doing menial tasks around the house doesn't exhaust me.
• Taking a shower doesn't cause me to get out of breath
• I can reach parts of my body to wash and dry that I couldn't before
  
• All my clothes are looooooooooooose to the extreme. It would be wonderful if they were falling off of me but that will come in time. And I look good (to myself) in all of them!
• I actually enjoy looking at myself in the mirror, and I smile at myself.
  
• My smile has changed. My lips used to look like skinny pale lines against my very puffy face. Now they look normal and wonderful and I love my smile.
• I can walk for a super long time, at least 2.5 miles, and it's not a struggle. And trips to WalMart? I don't sit exhausted in my car when I'm done with some donuts to give me strength. Man when I went on my first walk I went only a couple of blocks and had to stop a few times for breath.
  
• My life was so awful, and had been for a while. I would ask myself 'what's wrong with me!' Well there was something wrong with me. That black cloud that had followed me for years and years? The hatred of myself and others, the discouragement and despair and despondency? The mask I would wear when I was 'on' for other people? Depression. Me, the happy cheerful smiley one. So that is being treated with AD and this is weird I know but I'm so glad there really was something wrong, that it wasn't all just in my head, that I wasn't just a loser and a failure.
• I look forward to each day.
• I fit in chairs. I want to go to a movie so I can see how I fit in those chairs. I know I can do booths now. Ooo I want to try one of those fixed swivel chairs at McDonald's some day that I have never ever dared try maybe I'll do it someday when nobody is looking if I ever go to McD's.
• My husband says I'm not as grumpy as I was before. Pfft. Men.
• getting down on the floor and looking under the bed for something then getting back UP was something I made my kids do because there was no way on earth I was going to be able to get back UP after getting DOWN on the floor. Well now I get down! And up! I just looked under my bed for a library book that had gone missing and it didn't kill me to be on my knees and I got up quite easily compared to before. Incredible.
• I have no guilt about what I eat or how much I eat or when I eat because I have 1500 calories a day and I eat exactly what I want within that limit. Today I had peanut butter captain crunch and orange juice for breakfast. YUMALICIOUS. For lunch I might have half a pizza, or a bologna sandwich with au gratin potato chips. For dinner I'm making creamed chicken and biscuits. All delicious, tasty, seasoned with salt and FAT everywhere. But it tastes good and I love it and enjoy it so much knowing that I am still losing weight. Watching my portion sizes, measuring and weighing my food, counting calories, it's so easy and empowering.

~~~~~~Back to my Blathering~~~~~~~~

Okay I told my husband today that I was taking Wellbutrin. He hasn't known at all because he has always said taking AD was a copout. So he wasn't mad. I told him no matter what I was going to keep taking them, even if he wanted me to stop. He said 'maybe I should go get on them too'. Well knock me over with a feather! He is the most depressed discouraged negative person I have ever met. I have wanted him to get on AD for years. I really really hope he does this.
So there you have it folks. Four months have wrought much change in my heart and life. What will the next four months bring?
I have had emails from people asking me to write down what I eat everyday. Folks have asked for more details about my method of weight loss. So here it is people:

Eat 1500 calories a day of whatever you want
Take a walk
Blog

And there it is.
Oh. And one other change in my life. I started this blog and have met the most incredible people through it. All of you, my readers and fellow bloggers, have helped me and changed me. This has been the best year of my life. Big Zaa hugs to everyone!
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Today be Talk Like a Scurvy Pirate Day! Throw some arrrrgs and mateys in your conversations! Tell yer wife to get back into the galley! Answer the phone with an Ahoy Matey! Here is the official website you scurvy bilge rats!
www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.htm
And there ye go. Enjoy you bilge sucking land lubbers!