Overall another good day in a long string of good days. Sometimes I can't believe that this is me doing all this. That inside of me is the strength and determination to actually DO SOMETHING about my weight. And why did it take so long for that something to click inside me? I keep reading all these wonderful blogs and folks are losing so much weight and they're at the end of their journey and I'm in the 'during' part of it all. It's hard to be patient. It's hard to keep saying 'I can't do this or that but I will be able to next summer!' I feel like my life is on hold until I lose a lot of this weight. There are so many things I physically cannot do and there are things I just don't do--because of my weight. Being fat has shaped my life for far too long.
My poor Ninja Cobra is at the vet overnight! He's been attacked 3 times in the past month by animals and always on his back by his tail. And each time an abcess would form and burst (ewww). Well this time I took him to the vet because he is really sick. His temperature was 105 and I don't know their normal one but that is high! So she said she would lance the abcess (ewww), flush the wound and start him on antibiotics. And that flush the wound thing? That sounds so nice doesn't it? Well it's horrible and quite deceiving! You take a humongous syringe with no needle, suck up betadine solution, then jam the syringe into the wound and plunge it all in. Of course, the cat is going insane with pain at that moment. I am so glad I was not there when they were working on him! Poor baby, I hope he gets better. I'm kind of scared he's going to die.
I haven't done this for a while so I'm going to do it again.
Things I Want To Do When I'm Thin:
- sit anywhere I want and not be afraid for an instant that the chair will collapse
- fit into a booth
- test drive a cute tiny car like a mini cooper or little 2 seater. It will be great to actually fit into something like that
- Make a huge dinner for family and not for one second be afraid that I'm going to blow it all by pigging out
- get a whole new wardrobe
- wear high heels
- get a really really nice coat. I haven't had one for years. Weird to think I'll actually get cold. I sure don't now.
- Go places and know that when people notice me it's not because I'm the biggest person there, but because of my charm and personality. ahem.
- have the seat up closer to the steering wheel instead of as far back as possible.
- my very large underwear and bras
- all my clothes are years old, stained and worn thin. It's taking forever to grow out of them!
- my left foot still hurting
- people who try to help by offering recipes that they used that are fat free and sugar free. I loathe that stuff. I would rather have a small piece of something luscious than a large piece of something that is tasteless and weird. Besides, my husband has forbidden me to serve him anything fat free. He had one fat free hotdog (years ago on one of my doomed diet attempts where I ate less than 10 g of fat a day) and it grossed him out so much. They were pretty icky.
- being 78 days on my weight loss journey and nobody knows unless I tell them because the weight I have to lose is immense and 30 pounds is a drop in the bucket. I still look the same to folks. that's a toughie for me.
- I couldn't sit next to my sister to eat on Sunday because she was sitting in the group of folding chairs and I knew I would not fit in any of them. That stunk
- having people who DO know I'm doing this be surprised that I'm still doing it.
- this computer. I'm sorry but 1 gig of ram just doesn't cut it anymore amiright?
I am reading Confessions of a Carb Queen. Wow what a story. I just love finding another person who has lost a lot of weight without surgery or pills. Gives me a lot of encouragement.
So there you have it. Another day in the life of Zaa. Now I'm going to do something new: ask a question to my readers! Here it is:
Name one thing you are looking forward to doing that you can't do now.
I will be horribly embarrassed if nobody answers it and then I will probably not do it again!
Make wise choices my friends.