Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Day 100--Zaa's Super Blowout Extravanza!

Get out that confetti folks, we have a celebration today! Yes, one hundred days ago Zaa made a decision to lose weight and inadvertently started changing her LIFE. I can guarantee that the Zaa of today is nothing like the Zaa of then.
  • Zaa of Old: depressed. discouraged. sad. tired. my whole life centered around my weight. my weight ruled what I did, where I sat, how people treated me, how I treated myself. I never exercised I mean come on, what's the point? I'm HUGE. I got out of breath just rushing to get the phone or drying off after a shower. I disliked very intensely What's Eating Gilbert Grape. I just knew that I was going to end up like the mother and was quite helpless about how to stop it. I seriously thought that there was no way in heaven or on earth that I was ever going to have the strength of mind and will to lose weight. I loathed myself, my clothes, my smell, my hair, my house. I hated the people who wouldn't even look at me, notice me, talk to me. I was ashamed everyday of what I looked like. I hated the clothes that I wore, all stained and stretched and old.
  • The New and Improved Zaa: positive, determined, pretty darn cheerful. I keep my calories below 1500 and walk pretty much everyday unless my foot hurts. I even walk with my daughter to and from school which I have always wanted to do! I enjoy walking very much, which is surprising because I always thought exercise was a torture to endure. It was a bit tough at first but no more. Getting dressed everyday is fun because I get to see how something else fits differently. I always check portions and calories on absolutely everything I eat and drink. I tell everybody how many calories is in the food they're eating. (and they sooo appreciate that) I know that there will come a day when I will be able to
  1. go on a rollercoaster
  2. sit down on the ground and get up again without getting on all fours to stand up
  3. really run, not this kinda jog that I do now
  4. have beautiful clothes that I look good in
  5. sit in a lawn chair and I don't break it and I fit
  6. test drive a mini cooper. I told my Dad I wanted one and he said I would never fit in it.
  7. go swimming with my kids at a public pool
It's truly been an odd day. For some reason what I want more than anything is liquid chocolate. I have no idea why. And don't ask me what I mean by liquid. I guess I just want it poured down my throat. I actually had to talk myself out of this craving. Because it might taste great but the minute I've eaten it I will be mad I did.
And my kids are driving me nuts. Crying, fighting, disobeying, being lazy with chores, antagonizing each other. I mean come on, this is my celebration day!!! They could have been good for today! I thought today would be this fabulous point in my journey where I show the world how I have triumphed and instead it was kind of a stinky day. I didn't even get to walk tonight because I have the BIGGEST BLISTER IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE on my pinky toe! When I got home with my daughter this afternoon I noticed my toe was hurting and I thought maybe my sock was too tight or something so I looked and dang if it looked like there was a tumor on my toe! and it really hurts too! my son wanted to pop it. with a needle. no way am I letting a 13 yo boy near my blister! I popped it with the needle. Three times. And he watched and grossed out but was also enraptured at the same time. Now it's all slathered in antibiotic ointment and bandaged. It seriously hurts to walk. And I am still up at almost midnight because my kids are still up and of course this means they will not get up when I tell them to tomorrow.
I figured today was the perfect day to recommit myself to changing my life. I guess in a way the struggles I had today helped me to see that I can persevere even on the bad days. And that tomorrow is another day.
A little shorter post than normal. You have been spared my blathering on about my life!

I wonder what the next 100 days will hold?


  1. Great post Zaa,

    Isn't is fantastic to have come so far in such a short time. We seem to be on a par, my 100th post was earlier this week. I can recognise my feelings in your words. Never thought I would admit to enjoying walking for my health. Now I have joined the gym and I will tell you a secret, but shhh don't tell anyone, I am enjoyingt hat too!!!

  2. Congrats on 100 days into your journey! I am only into day 17 of my re-start...100 sounds like a long time away, but I suspect it will whiz by fast. I loved the conclusion you came to...that you could persevere even on bad days. And you didn't even give in to the old trick of "I deserve it to celebrate" when that liquid chocolate called your name...coming from one who dearly loves chocolate, all I can say is WOW! Thanks for sharing, Loretta

  3. You have given me something to look forward to! I can't wait to see what my progress is at 100 days. It was so much fun to read your "then" and "now" comments! Wish I could have been there to help you celebrate, as I know the family just can't relate to the excitement!!

  4. 100 Days?! That's so frickin' awesome! What a winning streak! Be super proud of yourself and the inspiration you're setting for the rest of us. :D

  5. Sweet success. That's what the next 100 days will hold.
    You're so on target with everything..The food, the exercise...and most importantly---the mental changes needed for real, and I mean REAL change. The long term kind of change.
    Zaa---You never cease to amaze me.
    I so plan on doing the rollercoaster thing real soon!!! I'm scared to death of them, but I will do it just to hear the "click" of that bar, signaling that I fit. I fit! Imagine that!
    Ooh, the blister---Ouch. you have to take care of that stuff---your feet are extremely improtant!! You're certainly doing the correct and good thing. I wish you a speedy recovery my friend.
    Happy Day 100! Oh I remember mine, it was sweet victory. A time for reflection and a time to do exactly what you're doing here---reinforcing your resolve and everything you've discovered along the road so far---Many wonderful things ahead Zaa.
    Happy to have you along and follow your success!

    My best always,

  6. Congrats on lasting 100 days - you have done so well and I love your reflections on the old vs. new Zaa!

  7. Even more great things will come your way in the next 100 days! And i for one cannot wait to see you have them :)

  8. What a difference 100 days make! Can hardly wait to see what 200 looks like!

  9. Congratulation on making it 100 days. I know you will make your wishes come true.

  10. Fantastic, Zaa! If your kids had been perfect, you would have gotten the wrong impression of your journey---the focus has to be in YOU, no?

    That liquid fudge you talked about (I'm reading your posts in reverse chronology) sounds good.

    Here are a few things I do for chocolate desires that may help you:

    Make my own hot chocolate--dark.
    I put cocoa powder in a pan and add just a few drops of water to make it liquidy. Then I add Splenda. I pour in milk slowly and keep stirring. Sometimes I add: vanilla flavoring, almond flavoring, cinnamon, or even a very, very small pinch of cayenne (the Mexican way).

    I also like Edy's fat free sugar free chocolate ice creams.

    I make smoothies using hot chocolate packets. In the blender I add crushed ice, a hot chocolate packet, and for thickness I add either more ice, yogurt or FF ricotta or banana. For liquid, to keep calories lower, I add either part of a diet drink or diet tonic or coffee (not hot). Sometimes I add a flavoring or two: vanilla, almond, or coconut. The ice can make this a HUGE serving. . .I eat mine in a big cup with a long spoon. If you only add yogurt, ice, ff sf hot chocolate and tonic--the whole serving can be as low as about 105 calories (80 calorie yogurt and 25 calorie hot chocolate packet).