Tuesday, June 30, 2009Day 43. How neat to be able to write that. When I started I had only my hopes and dreams and some vague idea about how I would lose weight and here I am, 15 pounds lighter, filled with confidence and encouragement, and I'm doing it! Eating 1500 calories and walking daily is incredibly easy. Especially since I'm not hampered by someone ELSE'S eating rules.
(Imagine, if you will, a very thin, superior looking woman seated behind a desk)
Woman: To lose weight, you must eat foods that have no fat, indulge in steamed vegetables, yogurt, and fish.
Marshmallow (me): But I don't like fish or yogurt.
Woman: You're fat! You don't get to eat what YOU like, you have to eat what I want you to eat!
Marshmallow: I also despise steamed veggies, in fact, there aren't a whole lot that I do like at the moment.
Woman: (starting to get a sneer on her face) That's obvious.
Marshmallow: I like mexican food, the spicier the better. And cheese. And pizza, and chocolate, and bacon and--
Woman: (interrupting my love affair with food) To lose weight you can't eat those things anymore. Let yourself have a small treat once a week. Fill up on fiber so you won't be hungry. Blah blah blah.
Marshmallow: I would like to eat whatever I want, but portion controlled. I think 1500 calories is a good amount for me. I think I should be able to eat what I love, trying new foods as I desire, as long as I don't go over. And I'd like to walk everyday as my exercise.
Woman: Blasphemy! This goes against all diet credos!
Marshmallow:...I'm not going on a diet. I'm trying to change my lifestyle. Everytime I've gone on a diet before I've gone OFF it and gained back all my weight. In fact, I think you're full of it and I'm outta here!
Incredibly enough, I am also finding that my friends are not supportive of me. Weird, I know.
(The scene slowly changes to two women walking along a road, one talking animatedly, the other listening intently.)
Me: ...and I'd like to try two days a week shooting for 1200 calories. I think I could do that, and it might help my metabolism.
Her: No, no, I think that's too little, you shouldn't do that. Are you going to count calories for the rest of your life?
Me: I bought this new food scale and I'm so thrilled, now I can weigh my food and find out exactly how many calories I'm eating instead of guessing!
Her: Are you going to weigh your food for the rest of your life? What kind of life is that?
Me: I like the control that it gives me.
Her: I just think that you are being unrealistic. You can't live that way!
Me: I want to be a runner. I think that will be so fun, feeling the wind through my hair, the freedom of movement, I can't wait!
Her: You shouldn't plan more than 1 or 2 days ahead.
Me: I'm not planning, I'm looking forward to the wonderful things that will happen when I lose all this weight. Oh, and I'm weighing myself every two weeks.
Her: What if you don't lose any weight? What is your backup plan?
Me: What do you mean?
Her: Are you going to just give up? What do you plan on doing if you haven't lose any weight?
Me: Well, I guess I'll just ramp up the exercise and lower my calories.
Her: But what if THAT doesn't work? What is your backup plan?
Me: If that doesn't work I'm going into a medical book somewhere.
Her: See, I think you shouldn't weigh yourself at all. You're setting yourself up for disappointment.
Me: But I need to see if what I am doing is working! I can't just not weigh.
(And this goes on ad nauseum infinity)
Even my husband is part of the sabotage team.
(Imagine, if you will, the same woman talking animatedly to a man obviously bored and wishing he was somewhere else)
Me:...and look, my pants are looser, and my shirt comes down farther on my stomach!
Him: (he says nothing)
Me: I even had a piece of cheesecake and didn't go over my calories! It took so long to figure out how much it was!
Me: My walk was so difficult tonight but once I got home I was so proud of myself for completing it. 2 1/2 miles is a lot!
Me: I had 3 tacos tonight for dinner and that was about 500 calories and I'm full!
Me: calories blah blah exercise blah excitement blah blah
(isn't this horrible?)
The thing that makes everything so wonderful for me is that for the first time in my entire life I am actually doing things for myself. I've had 8 children, never even getting to go the bathroom by myself, or even with the door closed, took my showers last, if at all, and basically putting everyone before myself. There just wasn't TIME. But no more.
So try your hardest, saboteurs! Your mission will fail! I will succeed! Little do they know that my secret identity is THE AMAZING SHRINKING WOMAN!
Make wise choices friends.
Love to you all!