Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Yes yes I'm still here. It's just been a madhouse here!
Friday--my daughter came home from camp, we had a big birthday dinner, and so many people were here, I did not walk.
Saturday--everyone up and left by 8 AM, I was a pallbearer (me, a girl! Weird!), had a church dinner and I am so proud of myself, ate almost nothing, yay me! Was gone most of the day. Walked.
Sunday--Father's Day--played hooky from church (we were all so tired!) went up to my brother's home 1 1/2 hours away, and swam the entire day. I brought brownies so I could have one small one, which I did, and it was yum. They ate the whole thing which was my clever plan. Went to McDonald's afterwards and I actually had a quarter pounder with cheese and SMALL fries and water. Yes, you got that right! 740 calories in that meal but I ate almost nothing during the day and it was fun to treat myself. No walk.
Monday--we are all horribly sunburned, sunscreen notwithstanding. We were slathered in that stuff, but to no avail. I had the infinitesimal joy of driving my daughter 2 1/2 hours down to her camp, then 2 1/2 hours BACK with NO AIR CONDITIONING. We have an excessive heat warning here, btw. It got above 100. And my left arm got horribly sunburned. Sigh. So hot I did not walk, I mean come on, at 8:30 it was 98 degrees!
Tuesday--everyone still in pain, we mostly just laid around and felt sorry for ourselves. Did not walk and I will not walk until this horrible heat goes away.
Today--having a hard time sleeping, my sunburned arm just hurts so much.
So even though no walking, I am still doing fine on my calories. Oh and I told my Dad that i was losing weight and he told EVERYBODY and I'm freaking out! Now everyone knows and I feel such pressure to be perfect!
Oh and I read the cutest funnest book I highly recommend it to all of you guys:
The Big Skinny -- How I Changed my Fattitude by Carol Lay
It's like a huge comic book, and I love love love it. Full of common sense on losing weight, which once again validates what I am doing to lose weight--eating less and exercising more.
So now that it has been more than a month (can you BELIEVE IT) since I started on my journey, the honeymoon feeling is gone and there's a bit of trudging. Saying goodbye to my old way of life is bittersweet. No more pigging out on food, lying around in a fat laden stupor with no thoughts beyond what's for dinner. It was an easy life in some ways, no pressure to eat certain things, and the freedom to eat whatever whenever and however much I wanted. As I get further away from that life, though, I see that that 'freedom' was actually bondage. I was never in control of the food that went into my mouth, the amount I ate, or even WHEN I ate. Food was in charge. I would be FULL and STILL want to eat. I never felt satisfied.
It thrills me to be satisfied on much less. I love being able to eat when I'm hungry. It's challenging to find foods that give me more bang for my buck. I constantly bore people with caloric info about the food they are eating (sorry honey!) and talk about how sick I am of being fat. I'm looking forward to buying my very own scale. I don't own one. Why should I, when I'm too heavy for it? Right now I weigh every 2 weeks at the clinic around the corner. I think when I hit below 300 I'll get my very own. Wow. The thought of being in the 200's is wow. I haven't been below 300 in over 10 years, maybe even more than that.
I'm a bit nervous about weighing on Friday.
So that's me in a nutshell. Long, boring, and a kudos to you if you read this far!
2 pics from Sunday with me in a bathing suit! Wore a shirt over. Like that's going to hide anything!
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