Friday, July 10, 2009

Day 53--Weigh Day

Today my daughter and I walked up to the clinic to weigh. She wanted to weigh herself too, so I let her go first. She weighs 73 pounds, my skinny little 9 year old! And I weighed in at 334, yes a 7 pound loss in 2 weeks and I am so very happy! I knew that I was losing, I'm seeing so many little changes daily. So I have now lost a total of 22 pounds. I can't believe I'm even writing that. I remember wishing I could just lose 10 or 15 pounds, just be able to have the self control to do that small thing, and not being able to. And here I am, and there's no turning back.
Last night after I dropped off the older kids at church for their youth group float trip, it was just me and the 'baby' (she's 9 but still) on the way home. I decided to treat her to a Sonic wacky pack thing. We rarely eat out btw. She was so excited! And I got a water. A WATER. That has absolutely never happened to me in my entire life. I could always put away an order of fries, or mozzie sticks, or a double chocolate malt. I just did not want to waste my calories on that. The best part was it wasn't even a struggle. I wasn't sitting there fighting temptation, longing for the foods offered, struggling with the decision. I just didn't want it. I feel like I've achieved this huge thing in that one small moment. I just went home and made myself a quesadilla. Yum!
Those pillboxes I bought are sure helping me. I never forget my pills anymore.
I took a shower everyday this week! And put on makeup, earrings, and fixed my hair. I would normally shower every 2-3 days. It really didn't matter what I looked like. I rarely wore makeup and always forgot earrings. But now I'm finding that I really care about what I look like. I'm enjoying looking in the mirror at my new smile and getting dressed everyday in clothes that are slowly getting bigger. Today I put on a blue tshirt that is normally skin tight, I have to stretch it out to make it fit. This time, though, I didn't have to do that. I just put it on and it was a little loose all over. JOY. I can't wait until I can't wear my jeans because they keep falling down, even when freshly washed.
So it's a lazy quiet day. I'm still not sleeping well which stinks. But that is minor compared to all the good things happening to me. Funny how making a decision to lose weight can affect everything in my life. That one moment on May 19th changed everything for me. The way I look at myself, at life, at my relationships with others, all different, I even had the courage to talk to my doctor about myself, found out what was wrong and started taking meds. So many times I walked or drove by and thought about going in and couldn't. I can now walk 2.5 miles when I could barely walk a block before. I have control over everything that goes into my mouth, whereas before I felt helpless before food, a slave to my desires, a prisoner.
I had a dream last night where my daughter and I were walking along a road, holding hands. All of a sudden we started running together, and it was effortless and freeing. I began leaping as I ran and I felt so joyful. When I woke up, I was moved when I remembered it. Because if that had happened a few months ago I would have been sad, discouraged and depressed, knowing that could never happen. But now, I know it will happen. I will run with my daughter one day, and it will be effortless and I will leap and feel joyful.
Make wise choices.


  1. Oh my goodness 7 pounds is awesome!! Wow you are doing awesome :)

  2. That is wonderful! Congratulations! And I am so proud of your daily changes. I wish I could say the same. I try to get a shower every morning, but sometimes none of us get out of our pjs. Once the kids are up and going my day runs out fast. My goal is to get up, get showered, get dressed with makeup every day! I would feel so much better. I also want to keep my house in such a way that I won't freak out when people stop over. Slowly, but surely I will get there. Thanks for the inspiration! Blessings--Bonnie

  3. Congrats on getting the sonic water! THey have good ice, too. And somehow, having water in a sonic cup tricks my mind into thinking it is something tastier. ;)