Halloween has Come and Gone

What a long day!
First let me get my food journal out of the way.


Regular breakfast 200 calories
McD's for lunch! McDouble and small fry and water--390 + 226 + 0 =  616 cal
2 homemade tacos -- 300 cal
6 jolly rancher sour chewy things --80 cal
1 Reese's Cup--100 cal
Grand total of 1296 calories for the day--and I even got to eat out!


So woke up this morning, 2 kids were 'sick'. So that kind of messed up my plans for the day. Cleaned a bit, showered, then one kid decided she was 'better' and wanted to go to school. At 11:30. I said 'Farout!' and took her to school!
That leaves one at home, but 16 year olds can fend for themselves.
My daughter Rachel and I then ran around and did all kinds of errands, and went to Walmart and went out to lunch! I was prepared. I hopped on the McD website and checked out the calories for what I wanted to eat. I knew I was making tacos tonight, and how many calories those were, and I also knew I wanted something chocolate. So 616 calories for lunch isn't what I normally eat but it was fun to go out for a change. 
Then we headed home and made tacos and got the kids all made up for halloween. This year we had: a corpse bride who halfway through trick or treating morphed into a goth fairy. I don't fight these things. Then we had an alien, who ended up giving his costume to a friend and not trick or treating himself so he didn't get any candy and keeps snitching the other kid's candy. Ah well, too bad for him. Then we had the 'Ultimate Chief's Fan', and he looked really fun with his face painted red and white and all chiefs clothes on. We also had a pretty fairy, with a laurel wreath in her hair decorated with flowers, and wings, she was so pretty. Last we had an old woman, which was so fun, we had a mask for that one and it was so creepy good! I was nothing this year. For some reason didn't feel like dressing up, which is unusual but there's always next year right? I just felt fat this year. I normally try to be so very positive about myself but I just wasn't feeling it. 
I really really like setting my own goals and being flexible about what I eat. I am happy that I could eat lunch out with my daughter and just have a fun time talking and laughing and not worrying about whether or not I was 'ruining' my day by eating too much. Planning ahead, yep, that gave me confidence. I knew what I was eating was well within my calorie budget, and I could relax and enjoy myself.
I think it's key for everyone to lose weight by eating less and moving more. But I think we need to find our own way of doing that. I am sure that many many people look at my food diary and are aghast. 'Where's the fruits and vegetables? Where's the flax seed and fiber and lean meats and no white flour and and and--'  Well, they're not there are they? And I really don't care. I am losing weight within the structure of 1500 calories a day and a daily walk. I have never been successful losing weight other people's way. I don't like that stuff. I wish I did, I really do. But I don't. And if I have to force myself to eat stuff I don't like, it won't last. It would feel like a 'diet'. And I don't 'diet' anymore. 
Maybe someday. Someday I'll feel adventurous and I'll try stuff I've hated since I was a kid. But when I'm ready. Not because somebody else who is an 'authority' or is famous tells me to. I am so over feeling guilty because I eat what I like--jut not as much! 
Oh Sean Sean what have you done to me! Because it's all your fault you know. All the success I've had losing weight by eating foods I normally eat is due to your influence. You're the first person I ever read who ate this way--and you lost weight! I still remember finding your blog and realizing that this was it, this was the way I was going to lose weight. Eating 1500 calories a day and walking. I know that you don't just walk anymore, and someday I hope to do more too.
It all boils down to the choices I make every day. I can grab a handful of chips out of the bag and scarf them down. Or I don't. It's truly that simple. I can buy a candy bar at the checkout at the store. Or I don't. MY decision, if I eat it it goes in the log for the day. So there is no cheating is there? How can it be cheating when I set my own goals? Who cares what anybody else thinks about how much or what I eat? It's ME I have to face at the end of the day. And boy, I have faced me too much and hated me for so long. 
I think I'm rambling now. I reread all that and I'm not sure it made sense but I'm leaving it in. 
Words cannot express how it feels to have my weight loss be front and center in my life again. Yes, and all that entails, including talking about my calories all the time and making darn sure I get a walk in every day. Hey, I wish I was one of those wonderful weight loss blogger people who never let us down and consistently lose weight and blog faithfully and never let life get in the way of all that. But I'm not. I was sick for 6 months. I got discouraged. I started gaining my weight back. I was very very close to becoming blind in one eye, with the other following closely behind. It was super duper hot this summer and I hate being hot and sweaty and I did NOT want to walk in that. I got bored with blogging and took a break. I should have announced that I was doing that, some people actually thought I died. Well this time around, I know what I'm doing, and blogging is for the accountability, so I don't care how incredibly boring my day is I'm going to write about it. And include my food diary. It really doesn't bother me if anyone reads this or not. 
I love going to bed with calories to spare.
Ran across this website you have to visit:
http://thisiswhyyourefat.tumblr.com/
Oh the food on this! How do people come up with this stuff?
Enjoy it all. 
Making wise choices because I hate being fat,
Laura