Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Day 301--How did I miss posting on day 300!! a most triumphant list and choosing to NOT buy Cadbury mini eggs

Well. So much to say, so I will just delve right into my list. In no particular order I present:
*********My Most Excellent NSVs*************
  • I am wearing a sweater that is my daughter's. It's XL. Me. Wearing her clothes. I have NEVER BEEN ABLE TO SHARE CLOTHES WITH MY TEENAGE DAUGHTERS!!!!!!!! I feel like I'm mostly in a state of shock about this. Yesterday I tried on my husband's Chief's sweatshirt (XL) and it fit and I just ran around telling everyone I knew what size I was wearing.
  • I ran today. Really ran, not trotted carefully. The ground goes by so fast! Has it always been like that? Rachel and I walked to city hall and paid the water bill then we walked to the school to take MaryGrace her lunch and homework which she left on the coffee table. When we got to a block from our home we raced. She won, of course. But. I really ran with my legs stretched out and it was EFFORTLESS AND FREEING. Remember my dream? Mary wasn't with me but oh, can you imagine my thoughts? I wish I wasn't scared I would trip and kill myself.
  • I can hold my guitar on my lap, just like normal people. I used to hold it out all funny because I couldn't hold it against my body, my stomach was too big. Well not anymore!
  • I never sit down to get dressed anymore. I just realised this yesterday. Remember how excited I was when I put my underwear on for the first time without holding onto anything? And now here I even put my shoes on standing up! Incredible!
  • My daughter Bekah lost 5 pounds last week. Good for you Bekah Boo Baby!!!! So proud of her. She takes her lunch everyday in a Duck Tales lunchbox. All of her friends are now on the counting calorie train. Her best friend brings HIS lunch in a Nintendo lunchbox which I envy, I love video games. I think it's neat how one person's decision to lose weight can affect so many lives.
  • I am not buying Cabury mini eggs anymore. I could if I wanted, but I'm not. I bought a bag and divided it and I thoroughly enjoyed that chocolate. No way would I have been able to NOT buy a bag. I love how I can just calmly make a decision like that and it doesn't bother me. I purposefully go past the Easter candy aisle quickly. I'll have some more candy at Easter in my basket.
  • It's weird how I'm losing weight different than how I gained it. Like my top being an XL and my bottom part still big. I need to just go try on pants to see what size because my pants are baggy and I keep having to pull them up and might I add that I typed that with a big smile on my face? Because who would have ever thought that I would have BAGGY pants?
  • I bought a pair of sweatpants for working out at the gym and besides the fact that they attract every strand of dog/cat hair in my house, they are a size 3X!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For years I couldn't fit into the largest size WalMart had!!! And now wow! It's just incredible. Somebody pinch me I must be dreaming!
  • Last week was a talent show and I took money at the door and put a smiley face on the backs of everyone's hands. And I dressed up for it. Like I was going to church. And I felt so pretty and attractive and cute and had an absolute blast! I love doing stuff like that.
  • In fact, everyday I feel that way. And I know that people look at me and think I'm fat because I still am, I weigh 275 pounds and that is most definitely NOT THIN but I can't run around with a sign that says 'I KNOW I'M FAT BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN ME BEFORE' or 'I KNOW I'M FAT AND I'M WORKING HARD TO LOSE IT SO IT'S OKAY FOR ME TO HAVE CHIPS IN MY CART BECAUSE I PORTION OUT MY FOOD'.
  • In ways I feel reborn.
  • Let me elaborate if you will. Absolutely everything in my life is different now than it was this time last year. And that's just after 81 pounds! I feel so light. I have energy. I have much joy in living. I never want to lose this incredible feeling of accomplishment I get when I look at myself in the mirror and smile.
  • When I lose 100 pounds I will have my hair done by a friend up in the city, he works at a most expensive salon but I want to do the thing where they figure out the best hair style and color for you. I was going to just buy clothes for the 100 pound mark but now that I find I can wear XL tops I think I'm going to go nuts the next time I'm around clothes. 'Um, honey, I hope you don't mind, I spent all our money on clothes this week.' I really really really want a pretty nightgown, okay, not pretty, sexy. I want to look sexy for my husband. I hope I'm not offending anyone by saying that.
  • How it thrills my soul to have one corndog (210 cal) 3 oz fries (130 cal and I only ate half so 65) and then later tonight I will have a serving of sand. Sand is like dirt, but white. My son came up with the idea. Okay now don't freak we really don't eat sand and dirt.
Crush one package of vanilla sandwich cookies
mix with 1/4 cup melted butter
place half in 13x9 pan--glass is prettiest
Prepare two large boxes vanilla pudding
pour carefully over bottom layer
sprinkle remaining cookie crumbs evenly over top
if you are clever and think ahead, which I didn't, you could even buy sour gummy octopuses (octopi?) and put them on there for giggles
Tada! Sand!
For dirt it's all the same but everything is chocolate.

  • I really hate my clothes. I feel like I have said that a lot but it's starting to become this big thing to me. Everything I own is stained, stretched, old old old, unflattering colors and patterns, faded, long! everything is so long! and I used to never wear shirts unless they covered my stomach completely!
  • I fit so nicely into pantyhose and dresses for church but, yes, I hate those too! They're all meant for women who are much bigger than me and I look silly in them. I think I need a makeover or something. I wish I had the money for that!
  • high heels. or any heels. I wonder when I'll be able to wear those? I have been wearing a pair of black flat mary janes for church so many years I can't even remember the last time I wore shoes with heels.
***************End of that atrociously long list****************

I get many different reactions now to my weight loss. We have the folks who can't believe how I look and are excited! Then we have those who don't say one thing at all. I used to be like that so I know how they feel. If they say something it will draw attention to the fact that THEY are fat too and need to lose weight but they just can't because they're trapped and without hope and don't think they'll ever lose it ever. Then there are those who get tired of hearing about all my NSV's (non-scale victories) and don't really have anything to say when I gleefully tell them I jumped over a mud puddle (which I did yesterday, twice). They seem to be bored, almost irritated with it all. I can't figure out why, unless my nsv's are coming so quickly now that they are just tired of me losing weight and can't wait until I'm done.
I am so glad that I don't care what other people think. Because I never did this for anyone but me. And when I heard that losing weight makes or breaks relationships I didn't care about that either. So far it's making my marriage much better than it was before so yay!

R U FAT?
Have you tried to lose weight and can't because you're a hopeless failure and you're not consistent and you have no willpower?
Guess what.
Me tooooooooooo!
Let me tell you my secret: don't banish any foods.
Yes, everything is permissable.
BUT,
MEASURE EVERYTHING INTO PORTIONS.
Eat only ONE portion.
Eat everytime you are hungry, don't just not eat like you did before because then you are overhungry and you will pig out totally.
Eat exactly what you like.
Oh, and if it doesn't taste good don't eat it. Why waste your calories on something like that?
I love moon pies.
One is 300 calories so I cut it in half and only eat half.
I had to say something about moon pies.
Pick a calorie limit and stick to it.
Yes, I believe that just about sums it up.
Oh and take a walk everyday.
There!

I weigh Friday then I'm driving my girls down to that summer camp for their interviews on Saturday so that day is pretty much in the toilet for me relaxing. I'll have fun with the girls of course. But driving 2 hours both ways can be quite tedious.
Well that's about it for me. If you read this far you get a gold star!
Love and hugs to all my fellow weight loss super heroes!!!!

8 comments:

  1. This post was like a breath of fresh air. You are doing so great. It's really inspiring to hear about it.

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  2. Hey, Zaa, stop by my blog from a few days ago to pick up an award!

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  3. You have so many great statements, I don't know where to start.
    My favorites:
    1. "I think it's neat how one person's decision to lose weight can affect so many lives."
    2. "And I felt so pretty and attractive and cute and had an absolute blast!"
    3. "I want to look sexy for my husband." Who would be offended by that? It's your husband!

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  4. Fantastic. Your joy, gratitude and enthusiasm are contagious and I'm glad because I need to catch them! I love your long list! How cool to be able to put on shoes standing up. Every little thing seems like a miracle. Thanks for sharing your triumphs.

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  5. Every time you post I'm excited to hear about your NSVs. Keep up the amazing work and thanks for the gold star!

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  6. I loved this list! Thank you!

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  7. I always love your lists Zaa....hearing about those NSV's never gets old!! And so excited to hear your daughter lost 5 more lbs!!!!! :)

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