Saturday, July 25, 2009

Day 68--Wherein I am noticed, I notice me, and Nikes

Took my daughter with me on my trip to the north to splurge on my first reward: a new pair of walking shoes. Actually went to All Sport and got a pair of Nike Airs! Here is a pic.
And got them 1/2 size smaller than normal. Which I guess makes sense. If I'm losing weight, it has to come from my feet too. I actually saw the veins in my feet last night and freaked out! I thought something was wrong, like the blood wasn't circulating in my legs or something but my kids pointed out that you can see the veins in THEIR feet too. Oh. Wait, that means my feet aren't big and puffy anymore!
Already I notice a difference in my left foot. It doesn't hurt at all except for a little twinge now and then. Is that weird or what?!
So the trip to get my new shoes was an out and out success.
As we were walking out I noticed my reflection in the doors ahead. It didn't even look like me! I am not as wide as I used to be. I could not believe it. I still cannot believe it.
Then at Walmart, a friend of my daughter's saw us and came up to talk and said 'You look thinner.' Okay I about died right then and there. I wondered when my first moment would come, that moment when someone I don't live with notices I've lost weight. Well I didn't think it would happen today! I was so excited when she said that and I told her how much weight I'd lost and about my blog. (And I couldn't wait to get home to write this in my blog!!!)
So all in all this has been a very great day which totally makes up for my cruddy days this week. As I was driving home I just felt so happy and content. I have been embarrassed about myself for so long. I have hated myself and my clothes and my life for forever, and now, now things are different, I am different. Every day is a new adventure. I am constantly on the lookout for another positive change in my body.
And as a fellow blogger put it, I will never grow tired of hearing people tell me I look good. I still am not ready, though, to tell all and sundry how much I weigh. The only ones who DO know are my readers. So far I have a few followers and maybe some lurkers but I don't think they're people I know out here IRL. Yes, I'm embarrassed still about how much I weigh. Yes, I'm thrilled to be in the 320's but it's still so much! I've lost 27 pounds yet I'm still as big as 2 people stuck together! It'll come. I think the farther away I get from 356 it won't be as big a deal.
I had a super late breakfast of cereal and juice (375 cal) then a dinner of a hoagie and cheese puffs. I know, what kind of planet am I from to think I can eat stuff like this and lose weight! But the puffs were weighed and I ate only half of them, the sandwich ingredients were weighed and numbers totted up. The kaiser bun was 200 calories alone! I thought about not eating the top but then I thought no way, I have the calories for this, I'm eating it! So my sandwich was 400 calories. Yum. Still have around 500 calories left. And you know how I like late night snacking!
My friend wants to walk with me tonight but she is acting super weird. When I called to see if she was planning on it she just sounded so different. I am going to take the bull by the horns and talk to her about it tonight. It's true, oddly, that losing weight is changing my relationships.
Wish me luck!


  1. Good luck with your friend! And I LOVE your new sneakers! Very cute! ^_^
    I remember the first time I could see my collar bones. I was a little freaked out too. You're going to be making all sorts of amazing discoveries- keep up the good work!!

  2. Those "little signs of progress" are some of the most under reported benefits of weight loss! I still remember the feeling the first time I could feel my cheek bones! It was wonderful.

    I have a pair of Nike Relax shoes, and I love, love, love them!

  3. Cute kicks! How cool that someone noticed, too - doesn't that make you feel just soooo good.
    I hope things work out with your friend. Maybe she just needs some time to get used to the "new" you.

  4. Get use to these "thinner" comments my friend, because you're going to keep getting them, you really are...This is the start of something magical in your life. Your story has the power to positively influence countless people. I'm so proud of you!! And I would have had the top too!

    It does improve everything, this journey we're on, it's truely a blessing for everything we do, see, hear, and touch...It changes everything.

    My best always---and thank you for your devoted support to my journey and blog. Your support means a lot to me.


  5. Yay! You got new shoes!! They're adorable!!

    About your friend and the weirdness. I had my own friend troubles this week, thus the crappy week, and my Mom pointed out something to me yesterday that may explain some of the craziness. She asked me if I had seen my friend before all the "mess" started. In fact, I'd seen her 2 days before. We had "Friend's Night Out" and she was there. Two days later she picked a fight with me over something stupid and our friendship absolutely fell apart and we parted ways.

    I hadn't thought of it myself, but my Mom sure thinks that there's some jealousy involved because I'm changing for the better. My friend is overweight too, but has not made the mental changes to lose it that I have. My appearance is changing...but so is my mental attitude. People can tell. And sometimes it can be a little threatening to others. I am NOT saying this is the case with your friend...but jealousy about a better you may be an option...and I'm learning from other people's blogs that this happens more than you would think.

    If it turns out that is the much as it hurts, we have to let those people go...and continue with our goals. Coming out of the valley of losing a friend, will only lead you to a higher mountain top with a better view. People that understand, support and truly cheer you on and celebrate all the positive changes that you're making.

    Things will work out for the best, whatever that may be, just keep your focus on improving yourself and enjoying the journey along the way. I'm right here with you and I believe in you! :)

  6. Lovely new shoes!

    And great that your weightloss is being noticed and you are beginning to see and feel differences.

    I have some friends that I just don't bother talking about weight/diet with as it is obvious they are not interested, but we enjoy many other things together, so I don't worry too much.

    Keep up the great work!

  7. people always react weird when someone changes for the better. makes them realise the defaults in themselves! congrats on getting your first comments! i know how great it must feel!

  8. Great shoes, I am sure your walking will really take off now. Good luck with your friend. Folk can be jealous when we are trying to make a better life for ourselves. So don't let other people's attitudes cause you to falter. You can do this and you have lots of friends here who are behind you ALL THE WAY.

    Walk On Girl,Walk On...

  9. How are you doing? Miss your writing!