Friday, July 17, 2009

Day 60

Wow I think trumpets should be sounding across the land! Zaababy stuck to something for 60 days STRAIGHT. Absolutely mind boggling.
My walk last night wasn't so bad humidity wise. There was a nice breeze--at first, then it died off. For some reason my ankles were bothering me. That has never happened before. My daughter said I need to do stretches before I walk. Okay, I know this. I've always known this. But I've never done it. I hate getting down on the floor to do stuff like that because you always have to get back up. Which is so HARD for me. She said she'll show me standing ones. Thank you Rachel!
I guess I should introduce my family to you, after a fashion.
Benjamin--25, married to Danielle for 1 year, is an air traffic controller in the Air Force, stationed in New Mexico
Rachel--24, in the national guard for 5 years, is a Sergeant (!), busy taking care of my husband's parents in their home.
Eli--20, works for a cable company digging ditches, laying cable, and all that entails. He's my only kid with curly hair. He has dirt in his pockets when he gets home! So funny. He plays the guitar and is so good!
Rebekah--17, is a counsellor at a summer camp for mentally and physically disabled children and adults and she is just loving it. More power to her, I couldn't do it at all. She will be a senior this year. She plays the saxophone and is in the marching band at school with Bethany.
Bethany--16, she'll be a sophomore. She can talk like donald duck better than anyone I have ever heard in my life! I love when she sings happy birthday to me like that. She plays the trombone.
Sam--13, ahhh Sam, you are what keeps me young. He'll be in the 8th grade. He is quite the character. Came home from a friends house and said 'Guess what I have!' and I said 'Is it alive?!' and of course he said 'Yes!' and I groaned and said 'Dog or cat!' and he said 'cat!'. So we now have another kitten, a grey striped tabby. We have named her Elora Dannan. Now before you get all weird about that name, it's from the movie Willow which we all love. And it goes perfectly with MY cat, Ninja Cobra. Who is totally freaked out about this kitten.
Josiah--12, he'll be in the 7th grade. He knows all kinds of weird stuff about bugs and animals that nobody else ever heard. He is showing himself to be quite musically talented. He plays the saxophone and the oboe.
MaryGrace--9, yes, it has a capital letter in the middle. When I was pregnant that's the name I wanted. My husband said 'Why can't we just name her Mary Grace and I said No Way I hate the name Mary which of course I am ashamed of because now I LOVE the name Mary! Her name is MaryGrace Elizabeth. She'll be in the 4th grade and is the baby of the family.
Oh and let's not forget my husband David. We've been married for 28 years and believe you me it has been a slog at times. He is a painting contractor and works very hard to keep this family afloat. And me? I haven't had a job since I got pregnant with Ben all those years ago.
We homeschooled for 10 years, but stopped 5 years ago. Let me tell you THAT was a chore. I was always pregnant or nursing during school.
Let's see. I'm a pianist, I love to read, and Bethany and I play an online game together called World of Warcraft. Don't judge me!
My house is always hopping with one thing or another.
**End of this stuff*******
Last night we had french toast and after much laborious mathematical computations deduced that one piece with light butter and sugar free syrup would be 200 calories so I had 1 and 1/3. Now please don't leave a comment that says I am WAY off on that!
It was weird last night walking. For the first time in ever I didn't have anything to say to my friend. She is just so not encouraging to me at all. When I told her that I put my underwear on without holding on to anything and what a big moment that was for me she didn't say anything. That's a silly example, but that is pretty much how she responds when I tell her a positive change in my life. So it's difficult. She's happy to walk but man it must be frustrating to not lose a single pound by doing that.
When I got home last night I had 2 tostadas (total 300 calories) and that was the best bedtime snack ever! I always make sure I have stuff to eat that is low in calories and more importantly, that I love.
Okay. So when I first started on my journey, I somehow found a blog of a man who weighed 500 pounds and had lost almost 200 pounds so far. And I went all the way back to the beginning, yes, I did, and read it all. Crying through much of it, of course, sometimes I'm such a big baby. This was when I decided to pattern myself after him and eat 1500 calories a day. I emailed him once and he actually responded! My word you'd have thought I had gotten that email from royalty i was so excited! I tell everyone who will listen about his blog, and stories from others I read, but mostly his. And can I tell you how absolutely floored I was when I discovered that he mentioned my blog and me, yes me and my weight loss journey in his blog today! Thanks Sean for the callout. Of course everyone is still asleep while I am typing this but when they wake up I'll be showing it to them. Here's the link to his post today: If you've never read his stuff, I suggest you go back to the beginning and read it all. I think he should turn his blog into a book.
I was thinking last night about being overweight and how feminity dropped by the wayside because of that. I no longer have pretty underwear, silky pajamas, or a robe. I guess once you hit a certain weight all the clothes become utilitarian and ugly. My sister gave me a bunch of stuff she grew out of when she lost weight and in one of the bags was a nightgown. Okay I haven't worn a nightgown for about oh, say, 10 years at least. Can I say how overjoyed I was to discover it fit?! So now I have a nightie. Through all these years with the kids my personal grooming was always last. I never took a shower or got dressed or anything until last. When you're getting 8 kids ready to leave the house Moms don't come first believe you me! And with all the weight I gained I didn't really care what i looked like. For church I made sure I was clean and my clothes were clean, put my hair in a pony tail and I was good to go. Well things are changing around here. I've been taking 2 showers a day. Yes, you read that right, two! One in the morning and then after my walk. I am actually caring about what I look like for the first time in ever! And I put on earrings and makeup too, and fix my hair.
Okay, you have to understand where I am coming from. My marriage has been a difficult one, my mother passed away 6 years ago which devastated me, and I've been so busy with the kids. Put my weight on top of all that and tada! you get zaababy. I never realised when I decided to lose weight that my whole life would change. I know I've said this before and I so hate to be redundant but I'm just so surprised. It's taking charge of things, that's what is doing it. I would never have had the courage to talk to the doctor and discover I'm depressed (which still freaks me out a little) and start on medication. I would never have discovered that within me there's a steel core of determination. Yes, a steel core that will not waver or get sidetracked. I had that core when I quit smoking 17 years ago and I have it now. I wonder what other things I will discover about myself!
Okay I think this post takes the record for being the longest one EVER.
Make wise choices! (you all know what that's from right? Freaky Friday, it's what the mom says to her daughter when she gets out of the car at school, I say it to my kids when they walk to school in the morning and I thought it was an appropriate way to end my posts)


  1. I love sean's blog :)And he is soooo supportive!
    What an interesting family you have, with a lot of varied talents. Made me remember back to when i used to play musical instruments.
    And i loved this post. Stay strong!!

  2. WOW! I just want to say how much you have inspired me on so many levels! I was late getting out the door for my walk/run this morning because I was so busy reading all your back posts. Still working on them actually- that will be my evening reward after I have done the things on my to do list.^_^
    I feel overwhelmed with my life of two boys-homeschooling etc and there you are doing that all times 4! I love the honesty and emotion with which you are writing about your journey. Keep up the good work, and know that I am definitely rooting for you!!
    As a quick side note, sorry to hear about the difficulties with your friend. I have lost friends along the way of my weightloss journey, which can be very hard. NOT that I'm saying you two will be parting ways, I'm just saying that it is very hard for the one not losing weight to watch the success of someone who is.
    Alos, I LOVED meeting your family and how you wrote something special about each one. Everyone sounds so delightful. I hope you are having a great day, and I will be back!!^_^

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  4. Sorry--typos in the first one. I found your blog weeks ago through a comment you left on Sean's blog. I just love it! Your honesty is wonderful. Thank you for sharing about your family today. It makes me want to share about mine. Your family sounds wonderful! I hope that my children will turn out as well as yours and that they will want to hang around me when they are 24--or take care of their grandparents. No doubt this is due to having such a wonderful mother! Keep up the great work on your progress. Don't worry about your friend--sometimes people just don't know what to say. We all cheer every time we hear a new non-scale victory! Blessings--Bonnie

  5. It was so nice to meet your family here. The way you described them was as if we were meeting face to face---very good. Your love and family pride comes through loud and clear! What a blessing.
    Often, a good measuring stick of a friendship--is determined, in my opinion, on how that friend responds to both your triumphs and struggles. A good friend, even one that's struggling with their own situation, will still celebrate and be enthusiastic about your successes---and they will sincerely support and try to help you with your struggles. An example: When I was very involved in stand-up, I was auditioning for a show and made it to the fourth call-back. Another comic who I considered a friend walked into that fourth call-back and said "They called YOU back?" It was the most honest representation of how he really felt about me. I understand now that it had much more to do with his own very deep insecurities. Once, when I devestatingly shattered a front tooth...a friend of mine later told me how they were telling others about the tooth situation "and we just laughed and laughed." It certainly wasn't a laughing matter---and I never gave the impression that it was---I was devestated. Anyway, this is too long for a comment!! Sorry.
    As far as the "royalty" stuff...Zaa!---really, I'm sincerely flattered over your high regard for me, but I'm just like you. I'm just a person who finally decided that I wasn't going to be a morbidly obese man anymore. Thank you for the compliments on my blog and thank you for telling folks about the blog. We're all on the same journey out of this place.
    I love your blog too!!
    Congrats on the numerous non-scale victories you're experiencing!! I'll tell ya this---It's just going to keep getting better and better for you! Isn't that exciting?? You're a real inspiration Zaa, a true inspiration.


  6. 60 days is huge. For me, that's the point where I fell into a nice groove and things seemed to come easier and more naturally for me. Hope that's the case for you, too.

  7. Found your blog via Sean's and have read it from beginning to date. Great to meet the family - phew, what a big one, lol!

    You are the same age as me and I love to "meet" people in the same age-group. So many of the things you write about have resonated. I cried at your description of the dream you had of running with your daughter. I think you will be doing that for real pretty soon.

    Well done on being able to slip your underwear on without holding onto something - a good test of balance - that is because you are walking more!

    Keep up the good work and I am so glad I found your blog.

  8. I wondered if you homeschooled and I started to ask in my comment the other day. When I heard "8 kids" I thought you sounded like a homeschooler *wink, wink*. I, however, don't fit the typical homeschool mom image because I only have 2 kids and I am happy to not have more.
    Congrats on all of the victories that are going on in your life! THat is great!

  9. Congrats on 60 days in - its a great feeling, seeing something become more of a habit than just something we are tolerating. Keep up the great job!

  10. What a wonderful post. I love your writing - so personal, like we're chatting over some coffee!
    You've been on such a journey in your life so far. I mean, if you can raise EIGHT kids!!!, then you can lose this weight!!!
    60 days is a major milestone. After 2 months I really felt like I "got it" - like my new habits were ingrained and I was moving right along.
    Here's to the next 60 days!