Sunday, November 20, 2011

I have no fascinating title for this post

Food I ate today:
half a sonic chili dog
half fries
half can of root beer (see a trend there?)
1/3 of a hoagie, and a few chips. For some reason it was really gross. Later I had
crackers with cheese
one small brownie

The choices I make set the tone for my day. Even when I don't make a conscious decision I am still deciding. Some days losing weight falls to the back burner. Other things creep in and take priority. But I still have the habit of checking calories; watching portion sizes; noticing satisfied signals to stop eating instead of the stuffed feeling. 

This is where habits come into play. And if I grab 2 brownies; eat everything I order at sonic; eat food that doesn't taste good to me; well, I'll be doing what I did before. And remember--if I do what I always did, I'll get what I always got. 

But I like my shape in the mirror. I feel pretty. I am not starving to death. If I get hungry I eat. How great is that?

All those years--waiting for something miraculous to happen--that special something--the pill, or secret trick, or special food that would be the answer to all my problems--all those years wasted when I could have been eating less of the foods I already enjoy. In the end, I didn't need someone to reach down and make everything come together perfectly for me to lose weight.

All it took was for me to say 'okay', I'm going to do this starting right now. 

And what joy! What freedom! I still carry around weight but my heart is light! How I have hated myself for being such a pig, so gross, so out of control. How my life has changed! I don't hate myself anymore. I feel confident, lovely, graceful, full of smiles that I freely bestow on others. And just because I count my calories? You bet!

There are people who do not understand why I feel this way. How can food be that big of a deal? What a good question. How DID it become such a big deal to me? Hmmm.

So the kids are home 2 days this week. Then off until NEXT TUESDAY. Nobody asked ME if they should have 4 days off from school. I just might go crazy. 

Oh, and my daughter is going to be pregnant for 3 hours tomorrow, then she'll have a baby for 3 days. Now that's the way to do it, right? It's for her child development class. She has to take this doll with her everywhere--even with her at night!--to take care of it. And I guess it cries until you do whatever it needs. Going to be an interesting couple of days.

Making wise choices be my choice today,

1 comment:

  1. Glad you are doing well. Your post seemed like you are in a pretty positive/upbeat place wih food & calorie counting, etc right now... woo hoo!

    Um, she has to have "baby think it over" for 3 days? 2 or 3 nights????? That seems excessive to me. The kids sleep so poorly...I hope hers does well for one or 2 nights if she is having it that long.

    Hope your Thanksgiving prep is coming along well. I still have stuff to buy..feeling slightly overhwelmed.